Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
