so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
