she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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