guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
