I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
