I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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