my phone needs a breathalizer
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
