i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
