So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
