I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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