There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
