I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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