I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
