we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
