well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Randomize
