and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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