I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize
