PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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