I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
