did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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