I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
so let's talk penis.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
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