That's when you crack a 10am beer
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
COCAINE IS GR8
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