is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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