You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
My liver just had a heart attack.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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