So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Someone shit on the floor
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
