i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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