i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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