I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
