eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
