i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
