I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
do herpes really smell.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
You were trust falling into bushes
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
