The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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