i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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