I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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