Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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