we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Just invented taco cereal.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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