We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
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