There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize