I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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