Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
