I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
