Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
