How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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