I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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