the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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