the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
