4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
