So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
