There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
