She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
