Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I can't put those talents on a resume
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
