if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
