They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
