sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Define "chronic" masturbator.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
