So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
