She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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