So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
