Whatcha textin bout Willis?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Alive.
So much puke
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
