i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
