saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Randomize
