Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
