I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
We just shotgunned beers for America
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
